I walked under a bus, got hit by a train, keep falling in love which is kind of the same

Love is a bus, if you miss it, there will be another arriving in ten minutes.
If your bus is late, it is likely two busses will come at once.
When the bus is in motion, thoughts go round and round like wheels.
The first person you sit next to on the bus may not always be the one you will sit next to for the whole ride.
It is an expensive mistake if you forget to tag off.
Getting on the wrong bus will make you feel lost but you can always get off and change busses.
Sometimes your bus will break down but break downs can always be fixed with a little effort.
Sometimes lots of people have ridden the bus before you but don’t let that stop you from enjoying the ride.
Busses are heavy machinery, getting hit by them really hurts, so caution must be exercised at all times.

George

In many directions the cat stretches
Before lying down on the mat
His fur glistens in the sunlight
Life is easy, making him fat

Then his nose twitches,
What does he smell?
A rat scuttles around the house
But soon it will be quelled.

He gets up slowly,
Crouches and takes aim,
Then when the moment is right
He runs with intent to maim.

But quickly he realises,
In him his owners have over-indulged
The rat runs too fast
For the cat and his belly-bulge.

He feels humiliated and mad
As he stalks back to the house
How could he be outrun and outwitted
By a creature as dumb as a mouse?

His owners sit on the couch
With a blanket over their knees
Up he jumps and wriggles around
‘Til into their blanket he can squeeze.

He feels warm and comforted
As his owners stroke his fur
Who needs stupid rats?
Purr purr purr purr.

The Rainbow

You came into my life like a rainbow,
I was stuck in the middle of a storm but then out came the sun,
And there you were.

You dazzled me with your array of colours,
Colours I’d never seen in nature before,
You were so beautiful I was overwhelmed with emotion.

You stuck around for a while,
As did my smile,
But then you were gone again all too soon.

Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet all faded to grey,
But I did not mourn that you were gone,
I gave thanks that you lit up my life for as long as you were here.

Wellington

The sun shines over the city I call home,
The blue ocean sparkles around the edges of the land,
Green hills surround her, covered in houses.
No area remains untouched by human hands,
Or unseen by human eyes,
But she is as beautiful now as she ever was,
I see her from afar and my heart sings,
No matter how long I’ve been away,
I am blown back to her,
And she calls to me “welcome home”.

Confusion, always confusion

Thoughts of you swirl in my head,
bringing questions I was certain I had put to bed.
Just when I thought I knew,
the answers were mine but there was you.
You came into my life so fast it made my head spin,
then disappeared just as quick, it should be a sin.
You left in your path a web of confusion in my brain,
I don't know if I can do this to myself again.
Wrong time, wrong place,
once again it'll end in disgrace.
I like you but you're someone I've only just met,
the only way this can end is with regret.
You felt so good in my arms,
warm and comforting, I could come to no harm.
But then again, so did he,
now, once more the decision is up to me.

The Mountain

Life is a mountain
I climb and climb and climb.

I get to the top, conquering all:
All my fears and all my goals
All the steep rises and falls.

I can move no further,
I have taken a long, winding road,
only to look around
and find the reward I was promised,
shrouded in cloud.

I don't see anything, I just see grey
Cold, wet, wispy hands wrap around me,
The freezing wind shoves me backwards and forwards

The view from the top is not all it's cracked up to be.

Clarity

A lot of things are really unclear for me right now.

On Friday I crashed my car. I'm okay, the lady in the other car was okay. Both cars are more or less okay. One of my indicator lights is broken and I swiped the side of her car. It was rainy and foggy and I didn't see her.
At least she didn't yell.
Earlier that week I swiped someone's side mirror off and got a call from the police saying they wouldn't press charges but that I needed to buy this person a new mirror.
Needless to say, I don't really feel like driving right now, in fact, I have quit, I mean not to drive anymore for the forseeable future.
Without a car I feel trapped, isolated, disabled and empty. I've never been afraid of driving, even when I was 10 and learning on the farm. It scares me to be scared of something I've always loved. I've always been a natural driver, it's always been second nature to me to drive.
I've been working two jobs for two weeks now. A job in the morning from 9-12 then a second job from 3-8pm. Clearly working two jobs has made me so tired I can barely even drive or concentrate. Which is problematic, given one of my jobs WAS driving. My night job was driving around town delivering weed to customers. I've had to give it up now obviously because of my new found fear of driving but in fact, this was a job I REALLY enjoyed, it's the best job I've ever had because I loved driving, it was not only my ONLY hobby, it was a passion and it was my job.

Then there's the people I met on the job, I really liked them. There were a few people in particular I liked more than others. People I really cared about. One guy in particular, I got along really well with and I miss him already. I loved his personality but like the rest of them, he is addicted to weed and that is an issue for me, having a father who has been addicted to the stuff for 30 years. But I really like him.

My sexuality has been debatable for some time and why should this situation be any different?

There's a girl. There's always a girl and a guy. To confuse you and to confuse me.
I think with the girl, the feelings are the natural feelings I get for the majority of my new friends. I often get feelings for new female friends. I can't help it, it's just one of the stages of friendship for me. So I have a slight crush on her. She's gorgeous, anyone with eyes can see that and no one would blame me. She's funny and intelligent. It's just how it goes. Our friendship will deepen, I'll come out of the honeymoon phase and we'll just be friends, with a really close, good friendship.
I feel like I have a chance with the guy, I don't know much about him, he makes me laugh. I don't even know if he has a girlfriend. I guess I need to get his number and find out all the things I want to know. I want to just ask him to lunch or dinner or something. Get to know him, ya know.

In the past few months I've realised that sometimes in life, you meet someone that you just IMMEDIATELY connect with. Someone you know you love from the word go, whether that love is friendly or romantic, you just know. Both of these new people I have felt an immediate connection to.
I met someone else not so long ago and it was clear from the word go that that connection WASN'T there. There was no spark, no glue, no gel holding us together. But that is not like these people, we laugh, we talk with ease.

So yea, a lot of things are really unclear for me right now.