Confusion, always confusion

Thoughts of you swirl in my head,
bringing questions I was certain I had put to bed.
Just when I thought I knew,
the answers were mine but there was you.
You came into my life so fast it made my head spin,
then disappeared just as quick, it should be a sin.
You left in your path a web of confusion in my brain,
I don't know if I can do this to myself again.
Wrong time, wrong place,
once again it'll end in disgrace.
I like you but you're someone I've only just met,
the only way this can end is with regret.
You felt so good in my arms,
warm and comforting, I could come to no harm.
But then again, so did he,
now, once more the decision is up to me.

For David

So close, so far away
I didn’t know you but death is a tsunami,
It disrupts, disturbs and destroys the lives of all who are close enough.
It wasn’t right for you to be taken so young,
Even when it was expected, it was always going to be too soon.
You were so positive, you saw the brightest side of life,
You were honest about what you were going through,
But always happy, your happiness was contagious to anyone around you.
Your life was a clock, which ran too fast,
Every minute lived was a minute closer to the end.
You were fighting a never-ending battle but you fought hard.
Your loss was felt by many,
Your friends will see you eventually
But it’s a long time for them to miss you,
Will you be there waiting?
Are you here watching?
The good die young,
You were a soul, too good for this earth.

Rest in Peace.


I'd just like to thank everyone who offered words of comfort last night when I was feeling really quite depressed at all the death and sadness in the world. Whether publically or privately, your words made my heart hurt just that little bit less.

This poem is for a guy named David who went to the same College as me and who died on the 9th of January this year after a long battle with cancer. He was still very young though, about my age. I didn't know him personally but I've seen the people around me become devastated by this loss. I wish I'd known him. He sounded like an amazing person. The media were very helpful to him and his family, letting him live out his "bucket list".
I felt really devastated when he died because although I didn't know him, being at the same school as someone is a close thing. He knew the people I do, he spent time in the same classrooms, had the same teachers etc. So I have deeply felt a sense of loss and I really do wish I'd had the luck to know him.
I feel like I don't have the right to feel anything towards him. I don't have the right to grieve for him coz I didn't know him.
But I feel those things anyway, I feel so deeply.
David was easy to relate to, he was a son, a brother, a friend. Everyone has one of those.
I've been working on perfecting this poem since the day of David's death. It was hard to write and still not quite perfect but publishable.
This is another tribute to David. Straight from the heart of one of his friends.

Also, another loss I felt was the death of the drummer of Avenged Sevenfold, The Rev. I know the death of a celebrity seems pretty trivial compared to the death of a young person but Avenged Sevenfold is a band I like, plus, a lot of musicians I love were affected by the loss of the Rev. It could have been any one of those musicians, it was very close to home.
And he was a best friend to the singer of the band M Shadows. And I know what it feels like to have a best friend and you never want to have to face losing them. So that was another side to my grief last night.

I also lost my nana at the end of last year, something I never really acknowledge as being a big thing but it was. I didn't know her like I should have and it breaks my heart.

Sometimes we all just need a big long cry for all the loss and devastation we've experienced. Things we don't acknowledge in the light of day.

Varelai.