Things I've Learnt In 2010

Hey,

For the last four years or more, I've written a summary of my year in the form of a list of things I've learnt that year.
This year is no different.
It's weird because as I look back on other years where I've summed up the things I've learnt, I'm realising that some years I learn the same things over and over again. Sometimes you think you've learnt a lesson in a year but haven't at all, if you keep making the same mistake, you have NOT learnt your lesson.

So, I'll begin by acknowledging a lesson I learnt this year that I thought I'd learnt way back in 2008.
>>> Try everything, you'll regret the things you DON'T do more than the things you WILL do. If I had REALLY learnt this lesson back in 2008, believe it or not, I would have a lot less regrets than I currently do, so here's hoping in 2011, I do EVERYTHING and regret NOTHING.
>>> I do not need to put up with people who use me, they can be easily cut away from my life like fat off a piece of steak.
>>> Flatmates can teach you a lot about life, sometimes living with a complete stranger can be the best thing you've ever done.
>>> Two people who are complete opposites can still be friends, they can even live together if they are tollerant of each other.
>>> Leaving home for the first time is scary, especially if you're moving a long distance away.
>>> Sometimes keeping in contact with your family just makes you miss them more.
>>> Working in the real world is stressful and tiring and unless you love your job, some days will not feel like it's worth waking up.
>>> As a Journalist I've learnt one man's tragedy is another man's excitement.
>>> As a Journalist I've also learnt dealing with grieving people and intruding on their privacy is hard and some decisions a Journalist will make will haunt them.
>>> Gaining a diploma is more difficult than anyone could possibly imagine but it CAN be done and finishing such a long process IS the greatest accomplishment I've ever made.
>>> When something is hard, giving up should never be an option, no matter how hard that thing is. Things must be seen through to their completion.
>>> Death is never easy. Whether someone's been fighting an illness for a long time or a kitten suddenly gets hit by a car one night, death can leave a person shaken.
>>> You never know how you'll react to someone/something's death until it happens, sometimes, even if you didn't actually know someone, their death can hit you like a freight train.
>>> Change can happen. Don't Ask Don't Tell was repealed in America this month (see previous blog for more), this is a sign the world is changing and gay people in this world are finally gaining acceptance or at least a little more tollerance.
>>> Try not to judge a person by their family, just because you dislike my dad or my cousin's a slut or my aunty's a drunk doesn't mean I have ever done anything wrong or am anything like them.
>>> Just because someone wants to sleep with you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with them. It doesn't matter how desperate you are or how flattering their attempts are, if it's not right, it's not right.
>>> Just because someone you used to know adds you as a friend on Facebook, doesn't mean you have to accept them, even if they add you 10 times. If you no longer want them in your life, they don't have to be in your life.
>>> Solving your problems at work and making your job less stressful is as EASY as talking to your boss. You don't have to leave when the going gets tough, your boss will be able to sort something out so there's a way around the problem.
>>> Finding work is hard, sometimes, even after 5 months, you can't find a job. Don't give up your job if you already have one.
>>> Some events in your life will be utterly disasterous, every single part of the event will go wrong and it will leave you feeling like crying in a dark corner but don't let that stop you from trying again and continuing to take risks.

That's it, happy new year.

V.

For David

So close, so far away
I didn’t know you but death is a tsunami,
It disrupts, disturbs and destroys the lives of all who are close enough.
It wasn’t right for you to be taken so young,
Even when it was expected, it was always going to be too soon.
You were so positive, you saw the brightest side of life,
You were honest about what you were going through,
But always happy, your happiness was contagious to anyone around you.
Your life was a clock, which ran too fast,
Every minute lived was a minute closer to the end.
You were fighting a never-ending battle but you fought hard.
Your loss was felt by many,
Your friends will see you eventually
But it’s a long time for them to miss you,
Will you be there waiting?
Are you here watching?
The good die young,
You were a soul, too good for this earth.

Rest in Peace.


I'd just like to thank everyone who offered words of comfort last night when I was feeling really quite depressed at all the death and sadness in the world. Whether publically or privately, your words made my heart hurt just that little bit less.

This poem is for a guy named David who went to the same College as me and who died on the 9th of January this year after a long battle with cancer. He was still very young though, about my age. I didn't know him personally but I've seen the people around me become devastated by this loss. I wish I'd known him. He sounded like an amazing person. The media were very helpful to him and his family, letting him live out his "bucket list".
I felt really devastated when he died because although I didn't know him, being at the same school as someone is a close thing. He knew the people I do, he spent time in the same classrooms, had the same teachers etc. So I have deeply felt a sense of loss and I really do wish I'd had the luck to know him.
I feel like I don't have the right to feel anything towards him. I don't have the right to grieve for him coz I didn't know him.
But I feel those things anyway, I feel so deeply.
David was easy to relate to, he was a son, a brother, a friend. Everyone has one of those.
I've been working on perfecting this poem since the day of David's death. It was hard to write and still not quite perfect but publishable.
This is another tribute to David. Straight from the heart of one of his friends.

Also, another loss I felt was the death of the drummer of Avenged Sevenfold, The Rev. I know the death of a celebrity seems pretty trivial compared to the death of a young person but Avenged Sevenfold is a band I like, plus, a lot of musicians I love were affected by the loss of the Rev. It could have been any one of those musicians, it was very close to home.
And he was a best friend to the singer of the band M Shadows. And I know what it feels like to have a best friend and you never want to have to face losing them. So that was another side to my grief last night.

I also lost my nana at the end of last year, something I never really acknowledge as being a big thing but it was. I didn't know her like I should have and it breaks my heart.

Sometimes we all just need a big long cry for all the loss and devastation we've experienced. Things we don't acknowledge in the light of day.

Varelai.