Once again, my dreams and plans have been crushed in a puff of smoke.
My friends don't REALLY believe being a train conductor is good for me.
No, they believe it would be a waste of my "intelligence".
Bah humbug.
Though one said she'd prefer me to be train conducting than to be on the dole doing nothing.
But hearing that two friends believe my mind would be wasted on my dream sucks.
I don't want to wake up at 6:30 every morning then sit in an office all day, at a desk in front of a computer screen.
This is not my idea of living.
I don't want to continue to look and act like zombie because my day tires me out so much.
I don't want to be bored.
I enjoy writing and I'm a fast, good writer but in an office, I feel like MY skills are wasted.
So what do you do?
Do you keep your ever suffering friends satisfied or do you live for yourself, do what you want to do?
I can't think in the conditions of an office. It is hot in this office, too hot for my head to create ideas which people will want to read.
Then again, I can't think at home either, it distracts me with it's opportunities to sleep, eat, watch TV and generally do nothing.
I would like to be a music Journalist but I don't know where to start. As a freelance Journo, you can't even connect yourself to a publication so when you talk to people and say "oh hi I'm ________" they'll say so what!
Where as if you can say to them, "Hi, I'm _______ from the Dominion Post" they'll be inclined to talk to you because they know you and your publication (or at very least, they know your publication).
Then there's the matter of finding bands to write about, how do you find the managers of bands?
How do you find the publicity for bands to know what's going on?
You have to have connections in the industry, a PR person who emails you details of gigs which are happening that you can attend and then review.
You need somewhere you can put your reviews where people will see them and although I have different contacts in 2 different community newspapers now, gig reviews are not a usual thing in those kinds of papers.
Then there's the matter of money. I know it should be about passion but you HAVE to live somehow.
Doing reviews for free would be okay for a while but I have to live and living costs money.
Journalists don't make much money, especially in freelance so that makes things harder for me.
Plus, for me, it costs a lot to even get to Wellington to check out gigs.
Also, most gigs are at night and while I'm studying, it's not possible to lose a night's sleep just to go into Wellington to review a gig for no money.
So it comes down to contacts really. I need contacts to work with who will pay me to review whatever for them.
And I will because I am passionate about music and I could review from home rather than in an office which would make everything good for me.
So there it is.
Varelai.
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Abraham Lincoln said: "Whatever you are, be a good one."
ReplyDeleteThe Dalai Lama said: "People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they're lost."
And Greenday said: "Minority is about being an individual. It's like you have to sift through the darkness to find your place and be that individual you want to be your entire life."
And now I'm saying: they are right. Don't let other people get in the way of your own personal fulfillment in life, not even your friends. Friends are important, and sometimes they may prevent you from doing something stupid.
But there are also situations in life where you have to make your own mistakes. Keep that always in mind. Something might not be right, but you won't know it until you have tried. People may say "Told ya" once you have found out - and I bet a lot of them will - but that should never hold you back from trying something in the first place.
I have made mistakes in my own life. And I have made decisions, that influenced my own life in a way that is irreversible - which is a good thing and a bad thing the same time, because so much could be different now if I had decided differently in the past. But back then I had to make those decisions, otherwise I would never have know what THIS is like.
Anyway, back to your dreams, Varelai. All your life, people will try to drag or push you into different directions. Don't let it happen. Think about what you want. If you want to become a train conductor - WHY THE HELL NOT??? If this is your dream, you should totally do it. It's not up to other people to judge you. It might not be the perfect job for them, BUT:
a) that doesn't give them the right to judge people who are working in that field/people who want to work in that field, because that just makes them snobby.
and b) just because it's not the right thing for them, doesn't mean automatically that it'll be the wrong thing for EVERYBODY.
and c) If everyone had an attitude like this, there wouldn't be any train conductors... at all and we all would be pretty gutted. Not to speak of rubbish collectors and such, who really do a great job for the community, considering how smelly and sometimes ugly it must be to collect rubbish everyday for a living.
Train conductors may not win Pulitzer prices - but seriously, there aren't that many journalists who win Pulitzer, either.
I could go on about this topic forever, especially there are so many angles to it (in which situation should a person listen to their friends' advice... etc), but I think I made my point.
Don't stop believing in yourself. And don't stop dreaming. Walk your own way. If these people are your real friends, they will see after a while that it makes you happy to do what you're doing. And if not... well... i'm afraid you'll have to get yourself some other friends... :D