Thoughts

I often wonder what people are thinking, whether it’s people on the train, just travelling to work like me, or people walking down the street.
I wish I could read their minds and find out what they think about.
Thinking about this makes me conscious of what I’m thinking about in my daily life.
On the train, I’m usually reading so I’m not consciously thinking about anything except concentrating on the words I’m reading but when I’m walking up the hill to work, I’m thinking about lots of things.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Valentines Day, my least favourite made up holiday in the world. I’ve been thinking of maybe sending my crush a secret admirer rose and ways I could do that without him knowing it was me, for example, if I deliver it to his work, he may see me, same if I deliver it to his house.
I’ve also been thinking about my friendships and what they mean to me. I’ve been thinking about work and what I’ll get up to during the day. I’ve been thinking about how tired I am and as I walk up the hill, I think about how big the hill is and how I’ll be early to work anyway, no matter how fast or slow I walk. And of course, I’ve been thinking about what other people are thinking about.

I’ve been pretty busy lately, working from 9-5 every weekday, taking into account an hour (or more), travelling time each way. I’m also volunteering at a retail shop on Saturday’s then seeing dad on Sunday’s. Sometimes I have time to do something, other than eat and sleep after work, for example, on Thursday I went to a screening of a documentary my friend set up.
Today I did something kind of crazy, I participated in a mass nude photoshoot. It was awesome being in the same vicinity as so many other naked people, who were so comfortable with their nakedness. A while after I arrived, I felt weird being clothed, so many people were naked around me. It was an incredible experience and I'm so glad and grateful I did it. I can't wait to see the photos.

But after all that, I'm so dissatisfied with my regular life. It was almost like when I go to gigs and then feel despondant about my every day life. This experience was so exciting, going back to my regular job in my stuffy, professional clothes will make me so depressed. At least I've only got two weeks left.
Some weekends I help make small budget movies with friends of a friend, just being a runner and that's the same, it makes me feel so alive that working or whatever else I do in my life is just so fucking boring I can barely stand it.

That's what I've been thinking and doing.
February is coming, only a day away. Fuck.

V.

Psychics and horoscopes

I often tell mum that I don’t believe in psychics, spirits or any other mumbo jumbo bullshit like that. In fact, this is a lie, I do believe in all that “mumbo jumbo bullshit”, I just don’t want her to know I do. I guess the reasoning for that, somewhat mad lie is that she is so excited about this whole other world and I don’t really want to have to discuss my beliefs or reasons for them, with her. For example, she often talks about her dead mother (my grandmother) and how she has talked to her via a medium/ psychic of some kind and how her brother had a dream that their mother told him to stop smoking, so he did.

I just laugh this stuff off with a “whatever mum” but in reality, I enjoy watching shows on TV such as “The 6ixth Sense” with Colin Fry or “Crossing Over” with John Edward where these men communicate with spirits, to the bewilderment of audience members, particularly the skeptical ones.

I also pay attention to horoscopes, it’s not a religious kind of devotion (although lately I admit, it has been), but whenever I’m reading a newspaper or a magazine, I flick to the horoscope section to see what is coming my way for that day/week/month/year. Sometimes they’re right, other times they’re not but it doesn’t really bother me either way but it can be interesting just to find out.

I’ve been doing some temporary work lately and on the first day I started work, my horoscope, straight from the mouth of some psychic the Dominion Post keeps in it’s closet was that I would have a dispute with someone because I like to do things my way and they want me to do things their way, a way I don’t think is correct.

At the start of the day, I thought “oh shit, this is bad news” as it could have meant my boss questioning the way I do my job, mind you, as my boss, it’s his prerogative to do so to ensure my job is done correctly but I’m stubborn.

Luckily, nothing bad came out of that day.

Today’s horoscope is something about dealing with the things that are depressing you because you cannot be creative at work and at home in that state.

That is a correct observation. Well done Dominion Post psychic.

V.