Saturday, December 4, 2010

The imagination

I've had feelings for a guy for a long time now, about two years and today. I've never told him how I feel so I'm not sure if he knows or not.
Someone said to me today that it's probably good that after all this time, it hasn't ended in a relationship. Not that it would anyway but it's good I haven't told him, incase it did because after all this time, he's much better in my mind than he ever could be in real life.
I've spent almost two years fantasising about what he would be like as a boyfriend so maybe when I finally got him, my relationship would be disappointing and nothing like I ever imagined. It would end in resentment and unfulfilled expectations.
I had a dream about him the other night, I've dreamt about him a few times, this time we were in some form of school and a teacher asked us to write a letter to someone in our class. I wrote to him and said something I don't remember but then his reply was that he didn't necessarily want a relationship but he was willing to go out with me that night to talk. He said something about admiring my independence when I moved out of home and moved away to go and do my job etc.
So, needless to say, I woke up the happiest girl in the universe. I finally got my man.
But only in my dreams because he does make me happy every time I see him or talk to him anyway and that's all I need, I don't need to wreck my amazing whole idea of him by having him in reality.

I had more to say but I'll write it tomorrow in a seperate blog.

Varelai.

1 comment:

  1. Special Agent Andy WarholDecember 6, 2010 at 8:54 AM

    Wow. Actually, I never looked at it this way. But maybe you are right. Maybe, if we have a crush on someone for too long, we are going to be disappointed when it happens.
    But we never know, do we?
    Andy Warhol once said: Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet."
    But how does he know?

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