Oh the smell

Hey,
So I'm about to blog for the second time today BUT you fuckers better not hope for a blog tomorrow.
So if you want DAILY Varelai action, read this tomorrow.
Oh I know it's hard and you suffer but so do Muse so you'll survive.

So, number 1: Lately I've been concerned I smell bad. I smell myself and think, wow that's awful and often wonder if others can smell me.
I don't want to know if you can but I AM conscious of it so I'll try to avoid it, not that I don't ALWAYS avoid smelling awful but when you're gaining weight like mad and begin to wear tight pants which probably don't have much breathing room, sometimes that kind of thing happens.
But look guys, I WILL stop talking about gross shit on here coz that's so not right and I would NEVER want to read that.

But first.. Okay so our ex next door neighbours have been married about 20 or so years now.
They're about 20 years apart in age but that doesn't stop them still being happy.
They seem to argue like nobody's business but I feel like it's because she is quite a "German-like" type person, gets angry very easily and does NOT know how to just chill out and ride life like it was a really gorgeous rockstar.
And don't get offended Germans, even my little German will admit German's find chilling kinda hard (like a gorgeous rockstar?)
And I am kinda German myself so uh... Yea.
So anyway, the partner, the male, is SO chilled, I cannot imagine him EVER getting angry at anything.
I stepped in his wet cement in the weekend and he didn't yell AT ALL. So yea, so calm.
Where as she gets angry about everything from people parking on their land to his whistling in the morning when he wakes up earlier than everyone else and bangs around too loudly while she's still sleeping.
So while they're arguing, well while she's yelling at him a bit for the above morning routine, he comes up behind her and tickles her. And she giggles even though she's trying to be all angry about how insensitive he is.
Then later, we have a feed of vego nachos, which are AWESOME coz she is an awesome cook, on the previous day she made me the BEST quiche I've ever tasted so has made me LOVE quiche. Yes, it was THAT incredible that I've changed my whole mind/world view of the Q word.
So anyway, she gets up and says something about farting. Which is totally gross coz I hate that kinda stuff.
But then her husband and I start talking, I ask him if it was awkward the first time they farted in front of one another.
You see, the thing is. I've listened to ZM for a long time coz I LOVE the Morning Crew. Polly and Grant are married and they've talked a few times about this toilet business. Polly never wants their own business to be "aired out" so to say.
But they ask listeners about it and get response.
So anyway, it's something I know I have to get over.
Everyone does it. My friends do and my partner certainly will (particularly if he's male) so how do couples get over this hurdle?
Is the "F" word a bigger issue to me than it is to most people?
I hope my friends read this and realise I don't think they're gross for being human but it's my own fear of the F word that makes me get grossed out at these occassions.
However, I think EVERYONE has this fear because my friends don't often do this in front of me.
But maybe that's coz it's a private thing people do alone?
But if they do, then how do people, friends and lovers, get over it?

So guys, I need answers.
I don't want to know about your F wording but I want to know what you think when it comes to doing it around people.
Is it normal?
It's human, sure but how do you get over it?

But also, the aforementioned relationship makes me think of Up! Which I saw last night.
Ellie and Carl love each other till the end.
Ellie dies but Carl continues to feel her all around him throughout the rest of the movie and you KNOW he loves her forever.
I'd love to have that. Or the real version which is my ex next door neighbours, who fight like cats and dogs but still love each other where it counts.
You can SEE the love even when they're fighting.
And I do believe couples NEED to fight to some degree coz they can't always agree on everything and fighting means less chance of divorce because they get their feelings out before they explode in divorce.
I have a lot of love to give and nowhere to spend it.
That's all.

I have another blog idea for tomorrow that I've been saving since yesterday,
hope I remember.

Varelai.