Being a rockstar

Sometimes I feel like I'm living the rockstar lifestyle. Wearing sunglasses inside, drinking like it's going out of fashion and staying up later than any person should ever be awake.
Of course, not playing music means I will never REALLY be a rockstar and although I have been asked many times, I don't actually want to play an instrument.
The thing is though, eventually, every rockstar goes to rehab and right now I'm in that phase.
As we speak I am drinking my final two and a half glasses of wine before I give up alcohol... Again.
I drank quite a bit while I was in my stressful job two months ago. I felt entitled to it, it made me feel better and less stressed when the world was breaking down in front of me on a daily basis.
Drinking at night, every night, was my way of destressing.
But I haven't had a job in two months. Why then, have I been drinking every night for the last few weeks?
Lately I've had some issues, one of which was talked about in the last blog, in as much depth as I'm willing to discuss in public.
It's these issues that are making me drink despite the fact I don't have a stressful job to destress from.
My friends have recently used a form of intervention to tell me that I drink too much and that they would like me to stop.
I said I would but I first had to finish an already open bottle of wine I had, which is what I'm doing now before I go completely alcohol free tomorrow.
I'll continue to update this blog on my progress.
I'm currently trying to recruit a kind of "AA buddy" who is in a similar postition to me (ie: needs to stop drinking before her life turns to absolute shit) and I thought maybe we could help each other out by supporting each other in the journey to not drink. Maybe if she accepts we'll talk everytime we feel like we need to drink and be able to help eachother out.
Tomorrow is the day of reckoning and although I didn't WANT to give up drinking, having my first last glass tonight and not enjoying it, made me think maybe it is time to stop.
The hard thing and the biggest test will be when something bad happens, how will I be able to handle not drinking?
Exactly one month till my birthday. Will be hard to not drink for that, sometimes it's nice to have a drink to celebrate your special day.
I hope that the friends who want me to not drink, will be around to support me in any problems I have to make not drinking an easier process. If I can talk to them about my issues, maybe I won't need to drink to make things easier.
Right now drinking is just useful for dulling my senses when things are going wrong. I need a replacement that's all.

Varelai.