The Sleaze

Hands all over my body,
Wandering, exploring.

Did I ask for this when I came out tonight?

Enjoying myself,
Having a dance, I never expected it to end this way.

Grinding into me, grabbing my hips,
Your touch makes me shiver.

What makes you think I want this to happen?

Feeling violated, dirty,
You make me sick to my stomach.

Even a shower won't wash away your filth from my body,
The terror stays in my mind constantly.

Jumping at every slight touch,
Was I always this scared and alone?

Girls dressed in barely any clothes,
Why don't you pick on them?

Wanting to wrap myself in layers of winter clothes,
Maybe the chills will go away, maybe I won't cause this again.

The smell of stale beer and cigarettes,
Do you think that excuses your behaviour?

Moving on, beginning to enjoy the company of men,
But you are a reminder that they're all the same.

You are the reason I despise your kind.




Author's note: There are not enough words to describe how I'm feeling right now. I hope this comes close to somehow explaining it.
I thought I was ready to love someone of the male kind but how can I when certain males act like the biggest creeps in the world, violating innocent girls, coming back again and again even when they say no.
This experience will never leave my mind. Any man's touch will turn my stomach.
I feel like I should cut off all my hair again, at least men used to ignore me when it was short. It gave the message loud and clear. A message I want to give again. I HATE MEN, even hate is not a strong enough word to describe how dispicable they are.
A female would never do this to someone. I may never trust another human being and yet the question never leaves my mind: Did I bring this on myself? Were my jeans too tight? Should I have worn more jackets?


Varelai.